As a partially reformed perfectionist it can be easy for me to see tasks done by myself or others that aren’t quite up to snuff. Whose snuff is a question that begs an answer – mine or that of the imaginary person looking over my shoulder and judging me? I grew up thinking I had to be perfect in order to be liked. If I’m not careful that thought can still haunt me. This is problematic not only in how it shows up in my life but also in how I sometimes see others, namely my kids.
There are times when I can be just as hard on my children as I am on myself. Do I honestly think my kids will not be liked if they are not perfect? Because I answer no to this, I have to answer the same for myself. So I’ve let go and allowed mistakes and mess to creep in.
Exploring the idea so well discussed by Brené Brown that we are all doing the best we can in any given situation has allowed me to soften and brings in more compassion for myself and my children. Read this week’s column in Jackson Hole News&Guide to ponder whether you can take the stance that your kids are doing the best they can with what they have in any given situation – and that actually we all are!
Rachel Wigglesworth has an M.Ed. in Parent and Family Education and is excited to explore the world of raising children with you!